


Move Along

by OverHillAndUnderTree



Category: The Last of Us
Genre: Canon-Typical Violence, Father-Daughter Relationship, Gen, Joel being a ridiculously great dad, Living with Tommy in Jacksonville, Platonic Relationships, Set immediately after the events of the first game, Swearing
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-02-06
Updated: 2018-02-06
Packaged: 2019-03-14 16:40:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 5
Words: 7,486
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13594143
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OverHillAndUnderTree/pseuds/OverHillAndUnderTree
Summary: Set a couple of weeks after their arrival at Tommy and Maria's settlement, Joel and Ellie have a rough time settling in to domesticated life. The new, harsh world leaves no stone unturned, however, and Jacksonville is no exception.





	1. Scuffle

**Author's Note:**

> I'm honestly only writing this for fun - Joel and Ellie are ridiculously fun characters to write, and I love them so much. I'm writing this bit by bit on my lunch breaks so I should be updating fairly frequently.  
> I REALLY hope you guys like it!

Joel scratched the back of his head nervously, one of few traits that remained with him in the 20 years since the outbreak. Much of who he was before then was lost.

He sighed. "Ellie, we just got here" he said, his voice riddled with exhaustion. He stood with his back against a wall (which, funnily, was how this situation was making him feel) in a small, grey room. Ellie stood in front of him, her face bruised and blood soaking her chin.

"Don't worry Joel, I kicked the shit out of him!" she said, triumphant. "I only got hit 'cause his asshole, pussy-boy friends ganged up on me after. But they all ended up on their asses too." She flexed her bicep and grinned at the older man, hoping to illicit a chuckle or a smile from him. She got no such response, and her smile faded into an awkward grimace.

"Come on, Joel. Aren't you supposed to have my back here?" she pleaded, the mirth in her voice having faded.  
"Have your back?" he asked incredulously. His body language changed from one of awkwardness to one of firm, parental frustration. "Ellie, we have been here a grand total of two weeks. I gotta admit, you're a great help around the camp, you're damn near always working, but I don't understand why you're going around fighting with kids you should be making friends with!"

"Karl called me a fucking dyke, Joel!" she exclaimed desperately. "What was I supposed to do? I wouldn't fucking kiss the guy, so he called me a dyke. So I punched him."

"Honey, it's not like it is out there. You can't just settle this stuff with your fists all the time, you gotta learn some conflict resolution, and some self control. You're a smart girl Ellie, I expect better than this from you." he said, his disappointed tone ringing in Ellie's ears like white noise after a gunshot.

She opened her mouth to retort, but the Texan held his hand up, silencing her.  
"But," he continued, his tone much more playful than before, "that kid's an asshole. So's his mom. He definitely deserved it." He smirked and moved his outstretched hand towards the teen, gesturing for a high-five.  
She grinned delightedly and smacked her palm against his. "I knew you'd understand" she chuckled.  
"Now don't go tellin' nobody I said that" he warned her. "You better walk outta' here like I just gave you the biggest hidin' of your life, understand?" he asked, unable to hide his proud grin.  
"I'll tell them all you hit me with a brick" she laughed, and the two erupted into raucous laughter, Joel patting her head fondly.

"Alright c'mon now, let's get you patched up."


	2. Niggle

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Joel and Ellie try to quell a tough situation, and as usual, not all goes as planned.

Once Ellie's face was a little more presentable (thanks to her own first aid skills, which Joel was sure to compliment her on), the two walked side-by-side past a long row of houses. Some were boarded up and unoccupied as of yet, due to bloodstained walls and upholstery that they hadn't found the time to clean. There were a lot of empty houses; the community wasn't that large as of yet.

"It's funny, the little stuff that matters to these people" Joel muses aloud as the two stroll together, the evening sun providing a light glow over the two as they walked.   
"What, like laundry and stuff?" Ellie asked, with much more of a spring in her step than earlier, dodging bits of wood and rocks that were strewn about the pavement.   
Joel chuckled. "Well yeah, that too, but I was talking about having to go apologise for you hittin' that kid. We're only going cause Tommy practically begged me. I never learned how to say no to that boy."  
Ellie shrugged, "I dunno Joel, I kinda get it."  
The former smuggler stopped walking for a moment, inspecting the girl. "Go on", he encouraged her to continue speaking.  
"Well, when you think about it, these guys probably know what it's like out there, right? They probably don't want their kids growing up to be assholes who go around punching people. They don't want them ending up like Hunters or something" she looked at her feet, her upbeat pace slowing to an awkward shuffle forward. He placed a hand on her shoulder, trying to get her to look at him.

"Ellie, I know what you're getting at there, you know it don't make you like a Hunter just because you punched a kid who provoked you. You had to use your fists to survive out there, these kids don't have a damn clue what you been through. Or the adults, for that matter." She still refused to look at him, and he let out an exasperated sigh.  
"These guys have the luxury of not having to fight to survive. Yet they chose to pick on you. We're just goin' down to apologise to keep the peace and, as I said, because Tommy asked me to. It's not you that's the asshole here, Ellie, don't mistake that." he said firmly.  
She exhaled through her nose, putting her hands in her jean pockets.  
"Now will you please stop frownin'? You don't wanna end up lookin' like me, do you?"  
"Thanks, Joel" she said, smiling again. "And I don't think any amount of frowning is gonna grow me a beard" she chuckled.  
"AW BUT HOW COOL WOULD THAT BE THOUGH?" the excitement returning so quickly to her voice made Joel smile.  
He had someone to reassure again - someone that needed his advice and guidance. Unaware of himself, his fingers trace over the cracks in his watch.  
______________________________________________________________________________________

"My son has a broken nose, and you want to apologise!" a balding middle aged man stood in the doorway of his home, a strange sight to Ellie and Joel due to the only homes they've seen being either boarded up or full of clickers.   
He squared up to the bearded Texan, who would have floored the man by now if it weren't for the circumstances and his obligation to remain calm.  
"Hey now, we just came round here to make friendly, ain't no need to shout. Kids will be kids, but let's be adults about this and move along." Joel stated calmly. Ellie stood next to him, looking vacant and bored. She was staring off down the street, not looking at the man who was hassling her companion.

"I don't want an apology, I want your kid away from mine. And away from the others!" he exclaimed, voice shaking with frustration. "There's enough going on out there without us having some little shit terrorising our kids!" he pointed out beyond the walls of the small town.  
Joel opened his mouth to speak, but Ellie interjected.  
"Don't worry about me staying away from your kid, old man. Trust me, I don't want anything to do with him, never did." Joel was surpised at her maturity. "Look, I'll apologise for losing my cool, but your kid's an asshole" ah, there went the maturity.  
"Ellie-" Joel was trying to keep the situation calm, as Tommy had asked him to, but he was interrupted by the boy's father.  
"That's it! I want you to get your scruffy ass, take that little bitch back out there to the fucking wilds where she belongs, and-"  
The man didn't manage to get out another insult, and it turned out there were two broken noses in the family that day.


	3. Different

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Explaining a difficult decision is never easy, is it?

"Do you have any idea what kind of position you've put me in?" Tommy asked through grit teeth, leaning tensely against an old desk in his office. "I've got a goddamn witch hunt on my hands. Maria is this close to having to kick you two out, do you realise that?"

"Tommy, I brought Ellie there to make amends and that guy just spat some hateful shit at her. I'm not gonna let someone speak to her like that" Joel responded calmly. They were in a small, dark room and they were alone. Ellie was in another room talking with Maria; Joel didn't want her to see him fighting with Tommy, which he knew was inevitable.

"Ah alright, I get it. He hurt your feelings, well that makes it all okay then. Let me just call a meeting and tell everyone you had to cave his face in because he hurt your fucking feelings." Tommy retorted sarcastically, massaging the area between his brows to alleviate his tension headache. 

"Don't be an asshole, little brother." Joel warned. His calmness was fading fast. "You have no idea what we went through to be here, we don't deserve to be treated like shit 'cause we're a little rough around the edges after everything."

"You're right, Joel. I don't know what you went through. So why don't you tell me? Tell me all about what happened in St. Mary's!"

Joel froze. He knew where Tommy was going with that question, and he didn't like it.

"Tommy" Joel's tone was no longer one of warning, it verged on fury. "You'd best tread lightly here, boy."

 

"Why should I tread lightly, Joel? Huh? Your story makes no goddamn sense. There's a bunch of immune people just like Ellie just sittin' around in a lab? I was high up with the Fireflies, Joel, and there wasn't no goddamn-"

"Enough, Tommy!" Joel's voice boomed, loud enough to startle anyone walking around outside.

 

"Joel," Tommy breathed, some semblance of calm returning, "you've gotta work with me here. I want you and Ellie to have a real shot here, a shot at having a life. If you don't tell me the truth about this shit how the hell am I supposed to help you?"

 

Joel stood opposite his brother, his gaze cast to the floor. He couldn't bring himself to speak.  
"Please Joel, let me help. There's something making you angry. Something making you lash out like that. Let me help." Tommy pleaded. Joel sighed.

"Ellie was unconscious - she almost drowned right before we got to St. Mary's. When I came to - they had already started prepping her for a surgery to remove the infection - but it would've killed her. They were gonna march me off into the wilds too, without my backpack or ammo. They wanted me dead, too."

 

"So how did you get out? How did Ellie get out?"

 

There was a reluctant pause from Joel. 

 

"I killed a lot of Fireflies. I killed Marlene, Tommy. I had to" he said, his voice sullen and quiet. Perhaps not quiet enough.

 

The door behind him squeaked open and Ellie stood in the doorway, her face contorted in a kind of pain she wasn't used to. Physical pain? She could handle that pretty well and carry on. This was different, though. A seething, twisting pain in her gut that seemed to travel through her.

"I swear" she whispered. "I swear - that's what you said to me". Her eyes brimmed with tears, but her voice didn't shake, and she didn't cry.

Joel shut his eyes and placed a hand on his forehead, not turning around. This was a mess he had no idea how to clean up.

"I'm sorry" he said softly. "I couldn't lose you." 

"But lying to me, you could live with."

 

"If it meant keeping you safe, yes."

 

She groaned, exasperated, kicking the door frame. "I can't fucking believe this!" She shouted as the metal rang out with a 'clang' under her foot.  
She steadied her anger with a deep breath and clenched fists.   
"I'm sorry" he repeated, turning to look at her slowly. He dreaded seeing her face, seeing the hurt he caused her. 'It's better than seeing her dead' he reasoned, and his resolve returned.

Tommy sighed and walked out the door, closing it behind him and saying "I'll leave you two to it" as he left, but neither heard him.

 

"I can't fucking get my head on straight. You killed the only people that could use me to stop those fucking monsters" the tears in her eyes glistened, and she winced trying to hold them back. 

 

"Think about if it were me" Joel said, and the expression he wore was similar to the one he wore when he would touch his watch unbeknownst to himself.

"What?" she asked, exasperated. 

"If you were told that making some kinda' vaccine meant I'd have to die. You couldn't say goodbye to me, you couldn't ask me how I felt about it, I wouldn't have a choice in the matter. Imagine I was unconscious, laid down on a hospital stretcher, and they were gonna split me open. You don't have time to think, or reason, or argue, you just act." he explained, and her expression changed from anger to upset. She took two steps forwards towards the man who utterly trumped her in height and width, but not in ferocity.  
"Can you honestly say you'd have done different?"

 

The tears in her eyes won the battle for dominance as they spilled down her cheeks, and she turned away from him, walking towards the door. He grabbed her upper arm, not tightly enough to hurt her, but just enough to keep her from walking away.

"Answer me, Ellie."

 

"No, I'd have saved you" she whimpered, facing the door, "but I wouldn't have lied."

She turned to look at him once more before freeing herself from his grip, walking out the door and leaving him alone in the dark room. He fell back towards the desk and leaned against it, exhaling heavily.

"What a goddamn mess. How the hell am I gonna fix this one, Sarah?" he asked quietly, his thumb once more brushing over the cracked surface of his watch.


	4. Hair Trigger

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Opinions change fast when there's a life on the line.

The couple of weeks following his argument with Ellie were very quiet for Joel, almost unbearably so. Ellie spent her time with Maria, asking how she could help, mostly lending a hand going out into the woods to hunt for food. The other adults argued that she shouldn't be allowed to go on hunting runs because she's just a kid, but Joel stepped up and informed them that Ellie had hunted and provided for them both when Joel was injured. This quickly silenced the others, both out of respect for the girl's skills and in fear of an altercation with Joel.

Since he threw a punch at one of the villagers, no one really spoke to him. Tommy was always busy doing something or other, and no one seemed to want to ask Joel for help with anything; they even refused him when he offered. He would wander the town, lifting things and moving things when he saw someone needed help but that was all.

 

Tommy would occasionally ask him to do the rounds; bring a couple of horses around the perimeter and keep an eye out for infected. This was usually done in twos, but no one wanted to head out with Joel, so he would go alone.

Ellie's face appeared in his mind, contorted in pain and disappointment. He shook his head, bringing himself back into the moment. He was on horseback, riding around the outside of the settlement. He had a shotgun, a bow with six arrows, and a 9mm with him, as well as some Molotov ingredients if he was overwhelmed.

 

What could he possibly say to her after everything? He had lied to her and broken her heart. She looked up to him and trusted him, and he didn't trust her to be okay with or understand his decision. He sighed, his heart heavy with the weight of his choices. He picked off a few lone runners and clickers, never finding so many that he was overwhelmed. 

 

As he mindlessly swept through the area, he found himself thinking about a similar situation he had run into with Sarah a few years ago. He had missed one of her soccer games and she was furious with him; the contractor he was working for at the time had been putting the squeeze on him to finish a few furnishings for a new house, and Joel worked himself to the bone. He had fallen asleep in his workshop and realised he was too late to even pick her up. Joel's younger brother, Tommy, had shown up to the game and dropped her home. She found her father asleep, but didn't wake him. She went to her room and stayed there.  
Joel recalled trying everything; he even went out and bought her new soccer boots and offered to bring her for ice cream.  
"Daddy, I'm still not sure you're sorry enough for missin' my game" she had said as the pair sat in Joel's parked car, eating ice cream and listening to Sarah's favourite CD by Halican Drops. Joel winced slightly at the memory of her awful taste in music.  
"Alright now, I think I've done enough to make up for-" as he spoke, Sarah slipped her hand under his and pushed upwards, making him smear his own ice cream all over his beard.  
"Sarah!" he laughed, pushing her hand away. "Now we're even" she said smugly, settling back into her seat and licking her ice cream contently.  
Her CD ended as Joel used a tiny napkin to clean the ice cream off his face, and she started humming her favourite track to herself. 

As the horse's hooves clopped on the ground below him, he became almost entranced in that memory, hearing Sarah's voice so clearly in his head that she could very well be sitting next to him, humming that song. He realised that he had pushed that memory, along with many others, out of his mind a long time ago, and he smiled to himself, relieved that he was still able to remember it so vividly.

He wondered if he could make it up to Ellie somehow - but he couldn't just take her out for ice cream, those times were long gone. He'd have to improvise, but he knew he would earn her forgiveness. He had to.

A gunshot flying dangerously close past his right ear brought him back from his reverie, and his horse bolted, throwing him off the saddle. He landed on his back, still sore where he had been impaled, and cried out in shock and pain.  
He got to his feet quickly, scanning the area for cover. He ducked down next to an old, rusted car and shut his eyes, listening for his assailant's footsteps.  
"Shit" he muttered under his breath. He had pushed those memories to the back of his mind for a reason; they were distractions, and they came at a heavy price this time. He had been shot at and had nothing but a general idea of his attacker's direction. 

He looked around himself frantically for a route of escape, and the one route he could see led him through the woods to his left, whereas the high walls of the settlement were to his right. Another gunshot ricocheted off the roof of the car and he ducked and ran towards the woods. He could hear footsteps better there, and there was plenty of cover.  
Shotgun in hand, he ran head first into the woods. He kept an eye on the area where the shots had come from and saw nothing. He stayed close to trees, breathing heavily and gripping the stock of his gun under his arm tightly.  
"Where are you?" he whispered to himself, crouching and moving slowly through the trees. He didn't pay too much attention to his footing, searching the area for the sniper. A shot blasted the ground next to his feet, and he was sure it was from a sniper rifle this time. He sprinted left, wondering why he was still alive.

He realised too late that he was being hunted and manipulated unbeknownst to himself. He ran straight into a trap, a piece of rope tightening around his leg and dangling him upside down in the air from a sturdy tree branch above him. In his surprise, he had dropped his shotgun, and his arrows slid out of their holster on his back and fell to the leafy floor.  
Joel muttered numerous profanities as he produced a shiv and started to cut at the rope around his foot. Why were they trying to catch him? Why weren't they killing him?

 

He heard footsteps and immediately replaced the shiv with his 9mm pistol, trying to get his bearings to defend himself. He checked his ammunition and found that he had only four rounds to spare. Shit.

 

"Bad idea doing the rounds by yourself, huh?" an unfamiliar man's voice asked from behind him, and he swung himself to face the man, only to find more emerging around him from every direction. He fired a shot at the man who spoke, but the sway of the rope and his disoriented direction made him miss completely. He emptied his bullets carelessly, managing to nick only one of them in the leg. 

"We've been waiting for a chance to nab somebody from that village of yours, and your stupid ass walks out alone - it's fucking Christmas!"   
The rest of the men chuckle and Joel tries desperately to count them, not bothering to retort. He could be a smart ass, he could make threats, but he chose survival.  
He continued to cut at the rope around his foot, but he was winded completely when one of the hunters cut the rope from the counterweight, dropping Joel harshly to the ground. Before he could so much as take a breath, a hunter brought a baseball bat down on his head, and he briefly heard the ticking of his watch pounding in his ears before darkness took him.

______________________________________________________________________________________

 

"It was just Joel killing some Infected, that is what he's out there for" Tommy said as a worried Ellie approached him about the three shots she heard.  
"But Tommy, that was a rifle I heard. Joel didn't pack a rifle today!" she said, exasperated.  
Tommy paused. He was feeding the horses and Ellie stood behind him, bow in her hand, ready to leave.   
"I thought you two weren't speakin', but you seem to know a lot about what he's up to" he said, an eyebrow cocked.  
"Yeah, well I don't really want to talk to him but that doesn't mean I don't check up on him. Tommy, please, let me go out there. I think something's wrong."   
Tommy bit his lip. "No. I ain't letting you out there, Joel'd have my head bashed in."  
"Tommy" she said firmly. "Even if he did have a rifle with him - which he doesn't - have you ever known Joel to miss a shot? Would he really have to fire that thing three times for a couple clickers? Would he waste that ammo? When he has the bow with him?"  
Her logic made sense and a sudden realisation came over Tommy.   
"We're both goin' out there, grab me a gun and meet me at the front gates." he said quickly, breaking into a sprint with his radio in hand, letting Maria know that he though Joel was in trouble.  
Ellie ran to the armory, grabbing a hunting rifle for Tommy. She heard a commotion outside and ran towards the front gates.  
She passed people on the way asking what the fuss was over, and Ellie looked up into the watch tower that they had set up next to the front gate and saw Tommy and Maria arguing frantically. Ellie climbed the ladder up to them quickly, and their conversation came into earshot.  
"-the safety of these people, I will not jeopardise that for one man" Maria hissed, as Ellie neared the top of the ladder.  
"Well? What's it gonna be?" a voice boomed from over the wall.   
"Ellie, no, get back down!" Tommy demanded as Ellie's head reached the top. She ignored him, hoisting herself up onto the reinforced metal platform alongside them.

She looked over the edge, trying to make sense of the situation. Ten men stood at the gate, one of them stood in front and Ellie guessed that he was the one who had spoken, judging by his smirk and how he looked up at Maria and Tommy.  
Just behind him were the other 9 men, and two of them stood either side of a kneeling, bloodied man, each holding one of his arms, but his head was bowed. The man coughed and grunted having heard Ellie's name, and raised his head.  
"Ellie" he wheezed, coughing with the exertion of speaking.  
Ellie's stomach lurched.   
"Joel!" she roared, her breath hitching in her throat afterwards from the sheer desperation of it. "You fucking cowards are all gonna die when I get my fucking-" Tommy placed a hand over her mouth and yanked her back as she tried to place an arrow into her bow, and she writhed in protest.  
"We have to fucking help him!" she shouted, trying to get towards the ladder.   
"You'd best control your little puppy up there! You wouldn't want us getting bored - or we might just have to bust out the pinata." he pointed his baseball bat at Joel's head once more, and Ellie froze.  
"What do they want?" she hissed.  
"They want us to trade Joel in exchange for all of our weapons, food and clothes." Maria sighed.

"Yes, but that's because they're desperate and don't have a way in, and they don't have the ammo to take us on either. We can fucking take them out but we have to act now" Tommy argued.

 

"I'm sorry, Ellie." Maria whispered.  
"Sorry? What the f- actually, you know what? Fuck this." She grabbed the rifle that she had procured for Tommy and leaned it over the edge of the ramparts. She could quickfire three rounds before she had to reload, and she calculated the best course of action with that in mind.  
She set her crosshairs on the leader's head first, and found her mark. The rest of the hunters faltered for a moment after the gunshot, and Ellie was far quicker. Her second shot found its place within the skull of the man holding Joel's left arm. The remaining Hunters didn't know what to do; they started blindly firing upwards, completely without any cover.   
Tommy and Maria both ducked down, Maria swearing in protest, but Ellie neither listened nor cared. Tommy produced a handgun and started firing down at the remaining men over the cover of the metal sheets in front of them, providing cover.

The man holding Joel's right arm dropped him and ran into the woods, however Ellie's third bullet pierced through the back of his head with no trouble. Joel fell forward onto all fours, trying to steady himself enough to stand.  
Ellie, seeing that the rest of the Hunters all scattered and ran off as the ramparts filled with Tommy's men, slid down the ladder as fast as she ever had.  
"Open the fucking gate!" She roared on her way down, but the gate didn't budge.  
"What if they're still-" Patricia, a slight older woman who had the key to the gate's lock in her shaking hands, stood in front of it protectively.   
"I'll fucking do it" Ellie sighed, grabbing the key and opening the large padlock, freeing the chain from its loop around the wrought iron gate.  
She emerged and sprinted over to where Joel lay, now motionless.  
"Fuck, fuck!" she wheezed, and she tried feebly to get Joel's arm over her shoulder.  
He was in and out of consciousness, mumbling and muttering under his breath. "I'm sorry" was one of the only distinguishable parts to his speech.  
"Apologise all you want when you're safe! You've gotta help me Joel, please!" Ellie pleaded, the former smuggler proving too heavy for her to lift. Tommy came sprinting out the gate moments later, hoisting Joel's arm over his shoulder, Ellie supporting him on the other side. Joel just about managed to drag his feet with them, but as Ellie looked down, she saw that his right leg was doused in blood and his knee was close to caving in.  
"Oh, Joel" she breathed, the guilt of not speaking to him setting in. What if he'd died? What if the last things she said to him were those cold, hateful words in Tommy's office?  
She held onto him that little bit tighter at that thought as the pair pulled him through the gates of the settlement.


	5. Recover

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mental and physical endurance are easily tested, but these tests are not so easily passed

Joel saw an awful lot while he was asleep. Having not slept properly in months, the forced sleep from his head wounds was oddly comforting.   
He saw the faces of people he'd killed and the faces of the people he knew who had died. He saw Sam and Henry in his mind's eye. Henry shook his head and shut his eyes, holding the hand of an Infected, yet calm, Sam. They looked at Joel with disgust and disappointment. "I'm sorry" Joel tried to say, but everything was so quiet, like he was stuck in a vacuum.  
He saw Tess, who stood before him with her arms folded. She walked towards him and touched his face, sadness in her eyes. He saw fungus growing from her neck where she had been bitten; horrific, bloody mounds enveloping her shoulder. He tried to reach out to her, to comfort her, but he couldn't. The infection crept up her body slowly, covering every inch of her before she disappeared. "I'm sorry" he repeated, but once again the vacuum in his head prevented the sound of these words from taking shape.

 

Ellie appeared in the dark space in front of him, her back facing him. He tried ferociously to call out to her, but he felt his arms being held back by something. Sharp pains in his arms, leg, head and ribs attacked him suddenly as reality crept in for a moment. A blinding light made his head hurt as he tried to open his eyes.  
He raised his heavy head with great effort and saw Ellie looking down on him from above, shouting. He tried to call her name, but it was feeble and he felt like the word was choking him; he realised he was losing consciousness again.

In the darkness he saw her back turned to him once again, and he tried to call out to her. He called her name over and over in his head, telling her he was sorry, asking her to forgive him.  
The sound of gunshots rung in his ears and his head protested in pain. Thunder erupted in his skull as pain overtook him. Ellie appeared in the darkness of his mind once more, but she merely shook her head and looked at him with hatred as thunder and lightning roared in his mind.   
Sarah appeared before him then, smiling. The sound of gunshots grew louder and her Halican Drops tshirt became slowly stained with blood. Joel apologised over and over; for not protecting her, for not being stronger for her, and for trying to forget her. She shook her head, and she was still smiling.  
"It's alright, Daddy" she said softly. "Apologise all you want when you're safe!" She shouted suddenly, her sweet Texan accent changing in his head. Whose voice was that?  
The darkness took him completely this time, after his final "I'm sorry" managed to make it out into the world.

______________________________________________________________________________________

 

He heard snoring as he opened his eyes, which he quickly shut again as the harsh sunlight coming in through the window made his head throb and hurt worse than it already did. He slowly tried to open them again and realised that he was lying in his single bed in the house that he was allocated by Tommy, with something resting against his blindingly painful leg. He sat up slightly and saw Ellie, whose head and shoulders were slumped at the edge of the bottom of his bed, and the rest of her was perched on a small wooden chair sat next to the bed.  
Joel laughed to himself at her awkward position and winced as his body protested to the hefty intake of air. He was in a lot of pain - possibly moreso than he'd ever found himself in. His old wound ached where his stomach had been impaled, but his new wounds in his head and leg utterly trumped it in intensity.  
"Ellie? Wake up, Ellie. You're hurtin' my leg a little, kiddo." He said gently, his voice coming out much more hoarse than usual.   
Her head snapped up, her sleepy red eyes struggling to decipher what was going on.  
"Oh, man!" She exclaimed groggily, removing herself so quickly from Joel's injured leg that she accidentally pushed her chair back and fell onto the floor.  
"Don't go makin' me laugh, my ribs hurt" Joel wheezed, propping himself up on the pillow he'd been sleeping on. The dizziness took hold of him, however, and he had to slump forward to stop himself from falling out of bed. Ellie jumped up off the floor and steadied his shoulders for him, resting him back against the bed post.  
"You scared the fucking shit outta me" she breathed, the relief in her voice was a comforting sound.  
"What happened to wanting me dead?" He asked with a smirk on his face. But she didn't laugh.

"I almost fucking lost you. It's not funny" she said, anger returning to her voice as she stood next to his bed. She put her hands in her pockets; her little defense mechanism.  
Joel wasn't entirely sure what to say, so he stayed silent. It was too soon, he supposed, to return to their jovial back-and-forth.  
"How are you feeling?" She asked, steadying the wooden chair and sitting back down onto it, hands still in her pockets.  
"I've certainly felt better" he chuckled, "I guess my pride's been bruised more than my body - fuckin' hunters really messed me up, huh?"  
"How'd you get yourself caught like that, Joel?" She asked, worry in her eyes.  
Joel sighed, and his hand instinctively came up to touch his beard.   
"I got sloppy, I guess. They set up a pretty damn good trap today."  
"Woah- today? Joel, you've been out for four days. We uh... We didn't think you were gonna wake up" her voice trembled towards the end of her sentence.  
"It's alright Ellie, I'm here." He said, identifying the sadness in her voice. He knew that was enough.

"Look, about what happened at the hospital-" she began, fidgeting.  
"No, no Ellie. Listen, what happened today doesn't change the fact that I messed up, alright?" He paused for a moment to hiss through gritted teeth as his head throbbed. "I shouldn't have lied to you. I was only trying to keep you safe."  
"I know." She sighed. "But when you're a little better I want you to tell me what happened; every detail, don't leave anything out. I know you wouldn't have done all that if you didn't have a good reason. It happened, it's over. Just- Promise me you'll be honest with me from now on? No more secrets." She smiled at him, and he smiled at her in return. "I promise."

 

The two sat in silence for a while, neither really knowing what to say.

"Hey uh, you couldn't sing for me, could you?" She asked quietly, looking into her lap. "I mean, I know you're probably not really up to it, so don't worry if you don't want to."  
He wanted to question it, to ask her why she wanted him to sing instead of to talk about what happened with the Fireflies, instead of trying to fix things. But he quickly realised that this was her peace offering; it was her way of telling him that she had forgiven him, or maybe her fear of being alone scared her into forgiveness.  
"Alright, but you're gonna have to grab me some water"  
She left the room and quickly returned with a bottle filled with water from the river - they went once a week to collect water and they used makeshift filters to clean it, so they could keep a constant supply.  
"Here you go" she said gently, handing him the clear bottle.  
"Thank you" he grunted, taking a generous gulp.  
He sighed and set the bottle down on the floor next to his bed before leaning his head back against the headboard and shutting his eyes.  
"Alright, then" he said quietly.  
Slowly, quietly, he started to sing. "They hung a sign up in our town, 'if you live it up, you won't live it down' " - it was his favourite Tom Waits song, and he remembered singing it to Sarah all the time. It was the one song of his that he managed to get her to like.  
He kept his eyes closed, but he could hear Ellie crying softly next to him as he sang.   
"I'm really glad you're not dead" she laughed once he had finished singing, releasing her tension as she wiped away her tears with her sleeve.  
Joel smiled, opening his eyes and holding his palm out towards her, which was met with a gentle high-five.  
"Me too, kiddo"   
_______________________________________________________________________________________

Joel, bedridden for weeks, passed the time by reading what books Ellie brought him from the limited selection scavenged within the town. 

He confessed to her one day as they sat chatting by the window that he wished he had a six-string to pluck away at so that he could maybe write some music. "I'm not the biggest uh... Harry Potter fan. I'm more of a 'murder mysteries' sort of fella," he had told her. She brought him a The Walking Dead comic she had found one day, comparing him to the protagonist. He scoffed. "Cute. You think I'd ever be caught dead wearin' that stupid hat?"  
He didn't see Ellie for two days after that; when he was strong enough to use crutches, he would hobble out of the house and talk to some of the few people in the village that weren't petrified of him. When he asked anyone where she was, he was told variations of "never you mind, she's busy out there making herself useful."

 

A sweet woman, Esther, helped to look after him for a while. She was in her early forties, with a short but slender stature, and kept her long brown hair in a constant messy bun that sat at the back of her neck. Her manner was soft and gentle, not what you would expect from someone after 20 years of living in this Hell on Earth.  
She would sit with him and keep him company, speaking fondly of her days before the outbreak. She had been an English teacher, and her funny stories about her students kept Joel's days bright and full of laughter. Still, though, when the second day passed without any sign of Ellie, his worry festered.

"Esther, I'm not sure I-"  
"I've told you a thousand times," she chuckled, loading water bottles into the house from the front porch, where Joel sat bandaged and propped up on a wooden chair, leaning on his makeshift crutch which was fashioned from a crowbar and some wood, "you can call me Ess".

He shuddered at that, reminded too much of Tess when he heard that name.   
"I've never been one for nicknames," he lied, scratching the back of his neck, "your mother named you for a reason, that's my thinkin' anyway."  
She laughed at that. "Joel Miller, you're an 80 year old man in the skin of a man in his fifties."  
"Fifties?" he asked incredulously. "Esther, how old do you think I am?"  
She paused. "Uh... I'm gonna say younger than fifty, seeing how you're looking at me like you want to tear my arm off - Jesus, Joel do you have to clench your jaw like that?"  
He laughed at her blunt honesty. "I'm 48 actually, so you weren't far off, but I ain't in my fifties" he corrected her, "and I don't clench my jaw, thank you, that's just how my face is when I'm bein' pestered."  
"Whatever, you old fogie" she muttered, sitting cross-legged on the porch next to him. 

He liked that he could relax around Esther - he didn't have to mind his manners or watch what he said. Before his injury, he had gone on two perimeter rounds with her and he felt very awkward; he had known that Tommy asked her to keep him company, but he really felt like she had genuinely warmed up to him since.  
Unless she was just spending time with him at Tommy's request, which he doubted.  
She sighed and shut her eyes for a moment. He found himself wondering what was on her mind, which is something he usually would never have cared about before.

"Penny for your thoughts" she said, breaking the silence. She opened her eyes and looked up at him, leaning back on her hands. "I was about to say the same to you" He chuckled. "Ain't nothing interesting goin' on up here, trust me. I'm mostly wondering where Ellie's gotten to. You sure I shouldn't be worried?"

She looked out into the distance. "You can ask her yourself" she smiled, pointing out past a row of houses where Ellie struggled to drag two black sacks behind her. 

She was covered in dirt and blood and she hobbled towards the house with a shit-eating grin on her face.

 

Esther stood up next to Joel and said that she would leave the two of them to catch up, patting Joel's head gently before she left. A smile lingered on his face longer than he intended, which Ellie spotted on her approach.  
"Alright, head out of the clouds, Casanova. I've got presents for you!" she beamed, dropping the bags next to her as she stood at the foot of the wooden porch.  
"Casanova. Do you even know who that- You know what? I'm lettin' that slide. Where the hell have you been?" He asked in his stern, concerned-father tone that he never seemed to be able to shake.  
She pouted and began to mimic his Southern drawl.  
"Aw gee Ellie thanks for goin' awn down and gettin' them there supplies from the school nearby that's fuckin' crawlin' with clickers an' shit!"  
"You did what? Ellie tell me you did not go out there alone!" He scolded her.  
"Jesus fucking Christ Joel, I went there for you! Look!"  
She opened one of the black sacks, and it was filled with around twenty different books. Stephen King, Arthur Conan Doyle, authors he'd never heard of.   
"You kept fucking whining about being bored," she explained, shuffling next to the bag, gauging his reaction.  
He was genuinely speechless. No one had ever done something like that for him, not since Sarah had spent all of her savings on his watch, which he clutched tightly as he saw Ellie standing there, presenting these books proudly. He swallowed a lump in his throat.  
"And let's not forget the best part!" She exclaimed, reaching into the second black sack.  
"The school had a music room, which was not easy to get into, let me tell you. But anyway - yeah! The music room, so I had to kill like a million clickers to get in there but the roof collapsed outside the door 'cause the clickers on the floor above me all gathered to the spot where I threw a nail bomb - fucking nightmare!"  
In the midst of her excited rant, she produced a beautiful six-string guitar, burnt ochre in colour. She held it out proudly, still not taking a pause from her lengthy story.  
As she spoke, Joel grabbed his crutch and stood, making his way down the porch steps towards her.   
"So anyway I found a way to get out but it was too slim to fit all the books and the guitar, and I got really tired so I fell asleep in the broom closet for a while, and then-"  
She stopped talking as Joel reached her, having struggled to hobble from the steps. She held the guitar out for him to take it, but he brushed her arm to the side and hugged her.   
"Thanks, kiddo" he said quietly, and she squeezed the material of his shirt on his back with her free hand. "Any time, old timer" she grinned, and he ruffled her hair as he stepped back, admiring the guitar in her hands.  
He whistled in appreciation. "She's a beauty!" He commented, inspecting it fondly.  
"Guess I can start giving you lessons now, huh?" He said, beckoning her towards the house as he hobbled away.  
"Uh, I think I kinda want some food first. And a dip in the river, I stink of mold and shit."  
"I noticed. Thanks for letting me hug you, now I stink." He feigned annoyance.  
"Don't kid yourself Joel, you always stink"


End file.
